How To Save Your Marriage
Marriage can be full of joy, but it can also be full of pain. For some couples, it seems the joy has been gone for so long that it is impossible to ever get it back. But it doesn’t have to be that way. When it comes to how to save your marriage, there are a lot of things you can do to start getting your relationship back on track. But you must be willing to look at yourself and make the necessary changes. Change isn’t easy, but if how to save your marriage is really a priority for you, then keep reading.
You might have found this page because you are searching for answers,to questions such as “how to save your marriage”, for many couples the romance has taken a nose dive, the relationship has now fallen onto hard times.When you know that there is something wrong and you need to know how to save your marriage then you have to look at the internal and external factors that impact your marriage.Once you begin to see the issues for a different angle, you might want to make the changes to yourself instead of waiting for the external circumstances to change,since you are still reading this then you obviously want answers to how to save your marriage.
So what are things that you are taking into the relationship?
Making a committment to sit down and list out all the things that you take to the relationship, this can be both financial as well as emotional, things such as paying the mortgage on time each and every month,doing the weekly shop or making sure that the bathroom is clean and tidy should not necessarily be high on the list although these are important to both of you.
Instead,look into the the relationship from a birds eye view.Do you tend to make sarcastic comments about your spouse.When your spouse does something nice,do you say thank you for being thoughtful, when they make an effort to look their best when going out to dinner or to meet friends and family, do you compliment them?.view the communication aspect of the relationship,do you listen to what is being said, do you take note when something is upsetting your spouse and they try to make you aware, by repeating what they are saying?.Are you loving and supportive to their feelings?.
If you look at your bank account,you can picture this scenario,do you have the tendancy of withdrawing more than you are putting in,thereby making yourself bankrupt?.If you have the thoughts of, it’s ok , i will make it back tomorrow or next week,then you are only fooling yourself,view your marriage in this type of light in order to begin to save your marriage from the disaster of divorce.
Do you want total control and it’s your way or the highway
Some people don’t know how to be in a relationship without trying to control it. If you are the type of person who has to have everything happen on your terms, then you are not only being incredibly selfish, you are also treating your spouse with disrespect. And maybe your spouse has put up with it for a long time, but if how to save your marriage is a concern for you, chances are it is because your spouse has had enough.
Many couples face conflict becuase they need to feel in control of everything, they try to control the thoughts and feelings of the other person by the actions that they take and the commincation they make.Many individuals in this type of relationship are only thinking of one person, themselves, they want everything their way, there is little or now room for comprimise,if you want to save your marriage then things have to change, you have to have give and take,flexibility within is key.
A marriage is meant to be a partnership, not a dictatorship in which one person calls all the shots and expects the other to “obey”. Attempting to control your spouse will usually foster resentment. Your spouse is a separate human being whose wants and needs may not always coincide with yours. Compromise is essential to a good marriage. Honoring and respecting his or her feelings, wants and needs instead will go a long way towards creating a healthier, more loving relationship.
There are many countries throughout history that have fallen due to dictatorships, marriage is no different , eventually the dictator will be over thrown by divorce.Many men and women try to control everything in the relationship, like no you should not go to that place because i dont like it, or you should not be friends with that person because i don’t like them,selfish acts such as these are only the tip of the control iceburg , waiting to be sunk.
Are You Taking The Aggressive or Passive Path in Your Marriage
While controlling behavior is very destructive to a relationship, passive-aggressive behavior is as well. Passive-aggressive individuals attempt to get their needs met in very unhealthy ways. Rather than speaking up and expressing their true needs or feelings, they say one thing and then act in a way which subtly or not so subtly contradicts it, usually in an attempt to get back at the other person.
Emotions are running high,fueled by the destructive controlling behavior, being passive aggressive is yet another facet of a marriage in crisis.Instead of using clear communication,these individuals speak of one thing but do the complete opposite,they only have their best interest at heart and what happens to the other person is of no interest, as long as they get their own way.If this should fail then they think of ways to get back at their spouse if they do not get their own way.This is not only unhealthy for the relationship, it is also emotionally unhealthy for the individual,although the see this as the norm.
So, do you want an example of passive-aggressive,imagine that it’s a cool summer day, a good day in fact to be out, the husband goes to his loving wife and says “honey, i going golfing with the boys today”.Since she is not happy with this and thinks that they should be spending time with her, for some reason his beautiful pure white burberry golfing tshirt has found it’s way into the red colored washing by “mistake” when she started to do the laundry.This goes without saying that this is a marriage in crisis and has all the contradicting issues of how to save a marriage in crisis.
To begin to see and feel the changes in your marriage you have to change to way that you react to things that happen daily.If you are wondering how to save a marriage in crisis then start today, speak to your spouse,more interaction will be needed,make an effort to change yourself before you see the change in your spouse.