There is an unfortunate statistic that reveals for every two marriages one will end up in divorce, many couples fail to stop divorce from going ahead because they have thrown in the emotional towel, the forget that not only is divorce a costly and time consuming process but the emotions attached to it can last a long time.In order for you to stop divorce from happening you need to be clear on what you want.When it comes to signing the papers for divorce you need to remember that this will be final and there will be no going back.
Are you really prepared to let your marriage go?
Although the above heading is obvious, the answer to this can be confusing, if you had a difficult time with your spouse you might not need to think before you answer.There is a possibility that there is a lot of anger surrounding the relationship and there is not way to stop this than using divorce, on the other hand, maybe you want to stop divorce proceedings because you have had a change of heart and are will to give it another go.There will obviously be a lot of emotional turmoil being felt when you consider the option of divorce, there is a lot of anger, pain, frustration, guilt .. all these emotions can be overcome if you are both willing to set time aside and go through the emotions one by one.
What are the risks of divorce from my spouse?
For those of us who have been in a marriage that is filled with crisis after crisis then it would be better to possibly end it once and for all and the option to stop divorce proceedings going ahead will not be a considered option.There is much anger, frustration , guilt , hurt and agony that you or your spouse can no longer tolerate the stress and strain of being married.
On reflection there might have been many happy times before the crisis happened.Although in the rough times all the positives go out the window.With the emotions running high it would be easy for the blanket of resentment and frustration to take over.Before taking any further drastic actions, set some time aside to reflect on the goods things in the marriage, look at the situation from both sides, make a list of all the good things that has happened throughout the marriage and see if you can stop divorce proceedings from going ahead.Once you have a look at the list you have compiled you might find that you are shocked at what you wrote down.
Divorce effect on the Children
If there are children involved then you need to think of the impact that this will have on them, you need to look at how divorce will affect them emotionally as well as physically.There is a tendancy for children to blame themselves for the separation of mom and dad, but in reality it’s all to do with the grown ups.Once the cards have been laid on the table and the decision to continue with the divorce, it can leave the child, or children wondering what will happen, this feeling only leads to the child or children feeling insecure, unsure and vulnerable.
The High Cost of Divorce – Not Only On Finances
The other angle of divorce is that there is a lot of finances involved, especially if the marriage has been over a relatively long period of time ( 5 years + ).There will be a lot of resentment that each party has worked hard to get where they are and now they stand to lose at least half of what they have earned,with the high cost of divorce there are really not winners,some forget the cost when it comes to friends and family, who desert them in support of the other party, this can be especially hurtful and leave him or her feeling a huge sense of betryal, people who you thought were your best friends and supporting family,have now gone.
There are many friendships that may be lost also.When couples split there is a tendancy for him or her to seek the help and advice from friends, this is the true test of friendship and it will be the make or break phase for those invovled.Since both parties are looking for support, friends get drawn into support one or the other, it is rare that friends stay neutral.
Now that you have gone through the questions and have seen the options available when it comes to divorce, the question remains, are you willing to go through with it?.Remember to ask this question of yourself and give yourself time to think things over.If you cannot see any way to salvage the marriage then an attempt to stop divorce proceedings will be futile even if the other person wants to, in order for the process of divorce to stop, both parties must be in agreement, or it will be even more emotionally draining.